Friday, November 27, 2009

Distilling Down Has Banners!

While real life (and my turkey coma) has been keeping me from finishing Chapter 4, I am so pleased to share a banner created for Distilling Down by MisforMarisa. Not only is she a super fan who makes my day, but she also is a banner queen!

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I'm hoping to be able to catch up the chapters on Twilighted and then add Chapter 4 to the beta queue soon. In the meantime, if you haven't read the existing chapters, check out Distilling Down now.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Female Turkeys On Thanksgiving

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Have a great day, everyone!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Screw You, Interstate 40

Okay, this post is only marginally Twilight related. Think Team Jacob for a minute. However, it has more to do with the utter bear that was my trip home for Thanksgiving.

The trip started out okay, other than the rain. But you know what? I can handle a little rain. It's not like I am going to move to Forks anytime soon, but I was down with the rain.

And then they closed the Interstate.

And then . . . .ugh. GPS is only so helpful when the main road is closed. I had to resort to physical maps, and even then I had to retrace my steps twice and start over. Interstate 40 wasn't closed for just a few miles. It was closed for a heckuva stretch due to some rock slides.

You know you're on the wrong kind of short cut when the fastest route is over the Blue Ridge Parkway. This is my official shout out to Highway 19 . . .you kind of suck, you know that? One lane the whole way, and I got to watch God's country swing by at a leisurely 35 mph while the Hyundai Santa Fe in front of me took its sweet time.

My main consolation was that I got to short cut through an Indian reservation. Crabby and bitchtastic to the max in the car, I'd vented to everyone I knew until God removed my cell phone signal. With no choice but to try and make the best of things, I attempted to spot Wolf Pack worthy locals as I passed through Cherokee.

No such luck, although I did see an Indian dancer in full dress costume. Sadly, not the same as a jorts wearing wolfie.

My little detour only added about three hours to my drive. No big deal, since I was only doing about 13 hours of driving that day. What's another three hours, right?

I was so happy to see civilization again . . . until I realized I'd spit myself out in Pigeon Forge . . .home of Dollywood.

Yep, it's gonna be a long Thanksgiving. Hope yours is going better!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

New Moon Makes A Bazillion Dollars

Well ladies and gentlemen, it appears as though the Summit Entertainment people will definitely be laughing all the way to the bank. The New Moon movie raked it $140.7 million in its opening run.

Screw You, Critics--We're Rich!

kristen stewart,taylor lautner

While Rotten Tomatoes and other semi-reputable movie critic sites are maintaining their stance of "New Moon Sucks Balls", the regular folks out here are liking it. It's LOLtastic and angsty and there's brooding and shirtless wolves. Escapism at its finest, people. Let other people watch black and white french bullhonky and enjoy the "art"--I for one have a good time enjoying fluffy, funny movies like this.

And mocking the lipstick--wow, was it bad. And the wigs. Oh man, Jasper's hair! And the Volturi--ye gods, people, what was up with that? I can see where "serious" movie folks might get their hate out. But I'm okay with laughing at the silly parts and just rolling with it.

It's been a relaxing weekend after the big night out at the theater, and I am curious to see where the twi-sanity gets to go from here. We've all been working up to this movie release for so long that now that it's here, we're going to have to set some new milestones. Eclipse, anyone? ;-)

Friday, November 20, 2009

New Moon = 10 x Hilarious

So, my neighbor got me to go see the 12:30 showing of New Moon. That's right--I've officially seen the New Moon movie we've all been SOOOO obsessed with and . . .

I LOL'ED. I mean, there were part where I honestly cackled. Loudly. You must go see this for yourself.

Total scene stealer? Billy Burke as Charlie Swan.

Best unexpected quote? Harry Clearwater: "My kung fu is strong"

Best and most expected part: The Shirtless Wonders

Seeing it again tomorrow night and totally looking forward to it!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

New Moon Day And I'm Under The Bus

And the big day is finally here! How excited are you? More importantly, HOW EXCITED AM I?

Yes, yes, yes!

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Very, my friends, very. For while I will not be watching the movie at midnight tonight, I will be doing a perfect double header evening with one of my very best girlfriends tomorrow night. What makes that even more perfect is it wasn't even my own Twitarded idea! I had originally planned to go to the midnight show in Durham tonight with the Raleigh meetup group, but I will confess that my old, tired ass was not excited about being up until 3 am. And then . . . . I was rescued!

Such a cute call! I've conned this poor girl into reading the first book and some fan fiction (we have an addict, score!) and gradually worked her into at least openness to seeing the New Moon movie, so imagine my thrill when she said she wanted to see if it would be okay if I skipped the premier in favor of coming to Charlotte to watch the original Twilight and then go to a late show of New Moon. I was pumped! The only downside, of course, is having to watch the original Twilight movie--damn you Catherine Hardwicke, damn you.

So here I am on cloud 9 and then I talked to my sister.

For the record, she started it.

And by it, I mean my whole obsession with the Twilight world. They were her books. This is ALL HER FAULT.

I mean, really.

So, I was sharing with her my thrill of the movie coming up and all the bloggy clips and the wonderful videos from the Twilight publicity tour, and she comes back with, "You've gotten a little too into that, you know. It's kind of weird."

WTF? What is that sensation? Oh yeah, it's my ass getting thrown under the bus by the fan who started it all.

*GROWLING, CURSING, ETC* I am going to enjoy the movie twice as hard, just to spite her. oooOOOOOOoooo . . . . it's on.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

New Moon Premier Outfits For The Laughs

Okay, these two get in here just for making me smile.

Justin Chon

Justin Chon

I seriously thought the combover was only for gramps.

Kellan Lutz

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I love that you are so obviously happy to be here! While not all members of the cast may be enjoying their fame *cough*ROB*cough* somebody out there is having the time of his life. Love you Kellan!

New Moon Premier Outfits: Outfits In The Middle

These are a few of the outfits that I didn't love, but I didn't hate, either. Some of them I feel really bad about categorizing like this, but hey--it's not like these people don't have professionals dressing them.

Ashley Greene

ashley greene

It's no secret that I like Ashley Greene, and it's no surprise that she was going for sexy here on the red carpet. I mean, she does have that Maxim photoshoot to live up to! However, this outfit just wasn't doing anything for me--I've seen her in better. There's no visual interest here--it's just a red dress.

Jackson Rathbone

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Jackson honey, you're supposed to be hot. While black tie attire is appropriate, it's not getting the job done with the black hair. You're looking just a little washed out here--grey suit next time?

Mike Welch

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On one hand, you are dressed up. On the other hand, you look like a car salesman. It may be genetic, but a paisley tie? Who's dad had that lying around? Or were you just trying to stay in the Mike Newton character as much as possible?

New Moon Premier Outfits: Losers

Sadly, I did not get to go to the premier. Something about not being famous? My invitation must have been lost in the mail, but that's okay because I still get to play my favorite game: Who dressed you for the New Moon premier and did you see a mirror on the way out the door?

Grand Champion: Jamie Campbell Bower

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Jamie, I'm about to let you in on a big secret here: Robert Pattinson is the messy hair sex god. There can be only one. What is is with the Volturi guys? Go find a hair brush!

First Place: Noot Seer

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Standing here with Esme Cullen aka Elizabeth Reaser (white's not your color, honey), the Volturi's temptress Noot Seer is wearing . . . what is she wearing? It's a dress of some sort, but it seems to have escaped from the zoo. Or an acid trip.

Honorable Mention:
Nikki Reed

nikki reed

Billionaire boyfriend and a supposedly rocking body . . . in a silk sack. Seriously, who dresses you. It's almost a repeat of your Teen Choice Awards outfit.

Honorable Mention:
Jessica Kendrick

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Jessica Kendrick appears to have been attacked by a rapid bejeweler here. Not sure what inspired this outfit, especially as Jessica is one member of the cast that actually does have a fair amount of red carpet experience.

New Moon Premier Outfits: Winners

It's red carpet time people, which means it is also time for breaking down the outfits that were. This post is dedicated to all those Twi-cast members who were able to correctly work out what to wear to a premier where they will be photographed approximately a bazillion times. You could hear the cameras clicking away the whole time the red carpet feed was "streaming", which is Internet speak for buffering and teasing me until I give up. Fortunately, a picture is worth 1,000 pieces of buffering nonsense.

Without further ado, the winners on the New Moon premier red carpet:

Kristen Stewart

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I may like some of the edgier looks from the New Moon movie promotional tour on her better, but there is no denying that Kristen Steward was representing Bella Swan with class here.

Taylor Lautner

kristen stewart,taylor lautner

Taylor certainly cleans up nicely!

Rob Pattinson

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Basically, this one is here because Rob Pattinson in a suit on the red carpet = win.

Julia Jones

Julia Jones

Yes, you play the mean girl. Fortunately, you still know how to look sweet on the red carpet. Not to showy, not limelight sucking away from the stars, and still full of class. Way to go!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Kellan Lutz + Lindsay Lohan = No Dice

This little news item just crossed my radar and made me laugh. Who knew there was a Lindsay Lohan and Kellan Lutz connection?

I'll drain anyone who implies we're together

kellan lutz,shirtless

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was out drinking last week and tried to pass her bar bill over to Kellan Lutz by having the waitress charge his card for her drinks. While I'm appalled that she can get that close to him but I can't, it seems that as usual, the boy acted with some sense.

In other words, DENIED. He declined to pay for her drinks, leaving her to scramble to cover her own tab--as well she should.

Best.Monday.Ever.

Ignore that I woke up puking. This day has gone from absolute hell to awesomesauce with one little shift.

No, it's not that I realized that in less than 4 days I will actually be watching the whole of New Moon, and not just the 15 or so minutes we've stolen out of trailers.

My story, Distilling Down, got accepted by Twilighted! Even better was the compliment that I got from the validation beta, who said it was one of the best first chapters she'd seen.

To say it made my day would be an understatement. I no longer care about my upset stomach or being able to hear the neighbor's kid crying through the walls. I'm floating on air with little birds chirping around me like something that escaped from a Disney move.

If you're not reading Distilling Down, I humbly insist that you should. The first chapter is only the beginning, in more ways than one . . . read it now at Twilighted!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Worst Shirtless Jacob Black Doll Ever Made

Okay, so Mattel's $24.95 version of a shirtless Jacob Black in jorts may be the only mass market doll available . . . but it's still the worst. I'm not sure whether to laugh at this or just cry over how horribly wrong this looks.

Available February 2010

jacob black

One Week To The Shirtless Wonder

I'm counting down . . .

Three

taylor lautner

Two

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One

taylor lautner

One week until New Moon has been viewed by me and about a bajillion of my closest friends, who better not be loud when I'm trying to focus or I will beat the Twi-snot right out of them. There's only one thing left to do.

Re-read New Moon.

I know, I know. I blog about it, I watch the spoilers, I see the pics all day. Why haven't a I re-read this book? It's been sitting on my desk for weeks, just waiting for me to crack open the pages and dive right in, knowing I will be owned by the story until I am done.

Well, real life has been getting in the way a bit, but this week is the week! Enough spoiler watching and trailer re-playing. I've got to hit the book before I hit the theatre--and I think half the Twi-dom is going to be furiously flipping through the pages with me as we go.

Here's to those speed reading skills!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Catherine Hardwicke Needs To STFU

In her most recent interview about Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke basically implies that Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart wanted to bang from day one, and would have done it the first day they met if she hadn't stopped them.

She said WHAT about us?! That hag!

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Have I mentioned before that I think she's a crazed hag? Or that she annoys the snot out of me? Or that her movie making skills are atrocious, as witnessed by the fact that we all love the Twilight movie DESPITE its flaws (and Lord, the things we have to overlook . . sloppy, sloppy!). Seriously, someone needs to tell her to put a sock in it. Or someone could just put a sock in it. That works for me too.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rob And Kristen Crash My Computer

Well, I've been trying to upload photographic evidence of the relationship between Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, but every time I get almost ready to public, my computer crashes.

Apparently, the universe conspires against the spreading of news that they are in fact together.
Interesting . . . but you can ponder it more deeply over at TwiCrack Addict. The handholding between them is in fact real.

Now I'm hitting publish quick before the truth take the computer down again!

Distilling Down Chapter 3: Angels Out Of Church

The new chapter of my fan fic is up! In this chapter of Distilling Down, Bella has to endure the loss of someone close to her, and finally close things up with a nasty ex-boyfriend who's been following her around. Pity that James never suspected she'd actually go through with it . . . but then again, he shouldn't have shot her.

Read the whole story here, and reviews get teaser (as well as my undying gratitude for reading).

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

No Werewolf For Christian Serratos

In fact, no fur anything at all. Guess she's firmly Team Vampire?

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Actually, the vamps eat the animals. Guess Christian Serratos is firmly Team Human. Although really, she ought to be on Team When-I'm-This-Hot-Why-Does-The-Twilight-Wardrobe-Dept-Make-Me-Look-Dumpy?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Taylor Swift Has A Good Twi-Humor Thing Going

Taylor Swift has a pretty good sense of humor when it comes to her "connection" to the Twilight sage. Not only does she name-check "that werewolf from Twilight" in her hysterical Monologue Song, but she was also chill enough to do the following Twilight spoof:



Ah, real talent. Please, please clone yourself.

Millions Of Men Are About To Get Interested In Twilight

It's official. Millions of men are about to develop a sudden, intense desire to see the new Twilight movie. Why?

Exhibit A:

ashley greene

Exhibit B:

ashley greene

Imagine their shock when they get to the theater and discover that Ashley Greene as vampire Alice Cullen looks like this the whole movie:

ashley greene

Thank You, Chris Pizzello

Not only was my day brightened by my football team winning, but there are also these lovely new photos by Chris Pizzello of Robert Pattinson. Photographer Chris Pizzello is known for his celebrity portraits, and he also has a nice smile of his own. See Chris Pizzello's Lightstalker profile for proof.

The rest of his portfolio completely disregarded, I do think these show the signs of a nice body of work:

robert pattinson

robert pattinson

In other news, the mall tour has kicked off. It's painful to me. Hence why I am seeking solace in Chris Pizzello's work!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

And The Twi-Sanity Officially Kicks It Up A Notch

Holy hell, people. It is like, what? Day One of the mega-publicity blitz and after reading my updates for the last hour I am not even to the end. Keep in mind that I checked in this morning, too.

It's that intense out there. And that's before I even touch the fan fiction front . . .

Let me 'splain . . .

inigo montoya

No, is too much. Let me sum up.

The short version, in no particular order:
  • Stephenie Meyer will be on Oprah November 13th. If only I didn't hate Oprah so damn much for Dr. Phil and a hundred other gag me transgressions . . . I will buy Harper's Bazaar but watching Oprah is going to far. The fandom is going to have to take one for the team for me on this one. Clips I will watch.
  • How many Extended Access clips are there of the cast doing interviews about New Moon? I move they just read us the script. Then I could just hear the audio instead of putting up with the buffering, buffering, buffering I get on the video.
  • The Eclipse movie poster is out. It's a little creepy.
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  • I got a real combat trained soldier to walk through a fight scene with me for my fan fic, Distilling Down. How excited am I for the next chapter? Oh, very. Next week!
  • Project Team Beta, I love you. Just giving the shout out now. I will read the 10 emails I have from you as soon as I finish watching the Wolf Pack do their interview thing.
  • I had no idea Taylor Lautner was short. Check his foot! It's a total Tom Cruise thing.
taylor lautner,kristen stewart,robert pattinson

Until tomorrow!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Twilight Moms Scare Taylor Lautner

Well, this is just great.

Apparently, the crazy Twilight mothers out there who are using their teenage daughters as excuses to go to Twilight events are scaring The Young One.

It's not you. It's your Mom. I think she wants to eat me.

kristen stewart,taylor lautner

The poor New Moon hottie Taylor Lautner is getting a little intimidated by the ladies at his promotional events. Frankly, if someone old enough to be my parent came up and said this to me I would freak out, too. Here's his story, as told to Star Magazine:

"I was at a signing and this mum and her teenage daughter are walking up. And the mum's shaking, she's so excited. "They get to the front, and the mum goes, 'Taylor, I'm wearing panties that have your name on them. If I find a way to take them off and have you sign them, is that Ok?"


Lady, no. It. Is. Not. Ok.

Not okay! Bad idea! I realize that the magnetic pull of all the muscles that kid has put on as a part of playing Jacob Black is hard to resist. I get that. I really do. But he's still basically . . . okay, frankly, he is actually . . . UNDERAGE.

Now eventually, he will be old enough for all the crazy things his fans would like to do to him. However, crazy old Twilight moms, making him scared of all of his fans will not make it likely that he would ever go out with any of them. Instead, we'll all have scared him so bad that he'll turn into Robert Pattinson, hiding under hoodies and barricading himself into his hotel room.

So, crazy Twilight mom, thanks a lot. The whole fandom appreciates you. Now knock it off!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Dacre Stoker Publishes Dracula Sequel

File this under things that make you go hmmmmm . . . .

Apparently, one of the descendants of the original Dracula writer is coming out with a sequel.

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While the original press release to accompany this talked a lot about reviving the heritage of Dracula and going back to the original characterizations, I somewhat blame Stephanie Meyer for this. And True Blood. After all, only in a universe where vampires sparkle and have fantastic love lives could an "authentic revival" of the original franchise involve the addition of a blood-sucking lesbian countess they'd like to have played in the movie by Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Odd, right? Because while the book does come out this November, they have already planned the movie version. They are trying to get Johnny Depp to play Dracula.

I can picture it . . . kind of. It's just a bit strange--I've been a vampire fan for many years and have read the book. I saw the Francis Ford Coppola version of Bram Stoker's Dracula too and I liked it. I support the casting of Johnny Depp in most things, so I guess I would watch it if they made it into a movie.

It's just really, really odd to me to see a book published in 1897 coming out with a sequel in 2009. Your thoughts?

A Sexy Break From The Non-Stop Rob Hotness

Remind me to bitch about the plethora of Wolf Pack promotional material more often, because it apparently spawns an explosion of Rob Pattinson photos. Thank you, Vanity Fair and Harper's Bazaar.

However, while Rob may be temporarily hogging the spotlight (okay, I'd let him have it all the time)(snicker)(Yes, I just admitted I'd let him have it all the time)(You know what I meant there, LOL)(Yes, I am talking to myself and to you in parenthesis)(Why?)(Because it is late/early and I am on the blog and hey, I like it)(I may regret this in the morning)

ANYWAY! Clearly there are a limited number of non-drooling over Rob braincells going on over here. My remaining function brain cells are drooling over Kellan Lutz:

All hail the hotness!

kellan lutz

Remind me to put Nylon magazine on my list, even if the rest of the photoshoot does have Nikki Reed in it. Gah. Looking at Kellan can be hazardous to my ability to think.

And then there's Alex Meraz. Yes, it's a Wolf Pack member I'm all excited about here. Calendar's out, and mark it down: I am cheating on Team Vampire. But it's for a worthy cause! I'm supporting People magazine's nomination of a Twilight cast member as the sexy guy of the week:

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Yum, right?

Hey, Hey Harper's Bazaar is Hot!

Wow, I am learning about so many magazines courtesy of Twilight. I would never have bothered to even THINK of this magazine where it not for photos like this:

Dear Kristen Stewart: Once You're Dead, Rob's Mine

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You know what I want for Christmas? Magazine subscriptions. Lots of them. I'm starting a list. It's my only defense.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Volturi Featurette: Cool, But I'm Still A Hater

As a part of the New Moon publicity blitzkrieg, there's a new featurette about the making of the Volturi. I like it for stills shots like these:

robert pattinson

The stills are gorgeous. But I still have no love for the Volturi. As far as I'm concerned, the vampire overlords are permanently personas non grata. Just for being bastards. Can't help it. I'm selectively Team Vampire, movie featurettes not withstanding.


The Shoes Ruin This Photo of Rob Pattinson In Japan

So, I am totally fine with hopping on the publicity tour bandwagon as long as it's not straight Wolf Pack all the time. Thus, you know I was really looking forward to enjoying the photos of Rob Pattinson with New Moon director Chris Weitz in Japan.

Then, like a tractor beam on the Death Star, my eyes were drawn to the shoes. Can you spot the ones I'm talking about here?

Hint: These aren't men's shoes I'm obsessed with!

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Ignoring a host of other things I'd love to comment about here with regards to the overall look, what the ever loving bejebus is on her feet?

New Fan Fic Chapter Is Up!

Thanks to everyone who read the last installment of my fan fic, Distilling Down. I'm pleased to announce that the new chapter is up! I've started getting a few reviews and I love every single person who reads. Hard. You make my day.

Here's a quick recap, and then a teaser from this chapter. In the prologue and the first chapter, we've met Bella, who is hiding out from everyone chasing after her. Unfortunately, that includes Edward. What's going on in his world while she hides from him?

Chicago, Alice's POV:

Our pictures hung in a scattered array, showcasing our lives since we’d come to America. There were dozens of Jasper and I, from our courtship, our wedding, and our trips together. Dozens of happy moments were on display, but Edward had eyes for only one photo: Bella at the lakeshore. She had been notoriously camera shy as a human, so we’d never had many of her. Between the labs and houses that had been bombed and burned over the years, his personal collection had been winnowed down to just a few lingering snapshots. He’d lost the other when she’d stolen his jacket on her way out the door again two years ago, so now this one on our wall was all he had.

Well, that and his not-so-little obsession with her current whereabouts.

"Edward . . . " I said to him softly, putting one hand tentatively on his shoulder. "She’ll turn up when it’s time and not a minute before."

"How can she run from me? How can she hide?" His voice was pure agony, bottled, aged well, and decanted.

"Edward, you know she’s not herself right now." I left out the part about him chasing her around shooting at her as potential motivation for wanting to hide out. He killed himself enough over that as it was.


Read on for more!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Rob Pattinson Makes Me Need A Vanity Fair Subscription

Seriously! I would subscribe to this, just for the December issue of Vanity Fair, which features photos of Rob Pattinson done by photographer Bruce Weber. The photos go with a feature profile by Evgenia Peretz that talks Twilight, Kristen Stewart, and fame . . . and being Robert Pattinson, of course.

I'd subscribe for a piece of the hotness

robert pattinson

The photoshoot outtakes are in a beautiful slide show on the Vanity Fair website, but here are a few of my favorites for your viewing pleasure.

The untagged version of the cover shot, courtesy of ThinkingofRob:

robert pattinson

Things I'm not kicking out of bed:

Exhibit A

robert pattinson

Exhibit B

robert pattinson

Books I need to check out:

robert pattinson

Where was this when they were making Poughkeepsie banners?

robert pattinson

Why yes, I would like to borrow that cigarette:

robert pattinson

And finally, before I just post the whole damn Vanity Fair Photoshoot of Rob Pattinson:

Yes, I want to be that sweater:

robert pattinson

Xavier Samuel as Riley Biers

David Slade has another hot vampire hook up for today, in the form of Xavier Samuel in character as vampire Riley Biers. Apparently in addition to an expanded role, he's been gifted with a last name. Which is just fine. If one of these vampire types becomes the later father of my children, it's important for them to have a last name, you know?

xavier samuel

The Complete Howling at New Moon

For the Wolf Pack lovers out there . . . as long as we're talking Halloween specials, here's the complete recast of the MTV Howling at New Moon program.


Holy Hotness Batman! It's Kellan Lutz.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Here I was crabbing about the lack of all things vampire sexy in existence, and lo and behold . . . the vamp side of the house has stepped up to the plate.

Kellan Lutz as Batman

kellan lutz

Have I mentioned how much I love this man? No? Well, I certainly have catapulted him to the top of my favorite people list again today! I spent my Halloween at a class reunion, but I am thinking a Vegas adventure with Kellan would have been just as awesome. Okay, much more awesome . . . I'm drooling just thinking about it, and I've definitely got the Batman theme song stuck in my head.