The Men At The Teen Choice Awards

A breakdown of the ladies outfits should only be followed by a breakdown of the men's clothes, right? And if only I could get the men's clothes to break down . . . . . wait, that's another post.

Jackson Rathbone

Um, channeling our inner Johnny Depp much? The hair, the sunglasses, the vest . . . when you run away to France I am SO FOLLOWING YOU THERE!

Taylor Lautner

Suit, man. Where is the suit? And must you always do that thing with your hair? Shark week is over, baby, over! But how mad at you can I really be when yes, you're still hot, even when you're not wearing a suit.

Kellan Lutz

All clean cut and charming, as ever. I was kind of hoping you would whip out something really funky, not unlike your disguise at the Comic Con event here.

Robert Pattinson

MMMMMMM. So Rob, I hear you won the award for "Choice Hottie" . . .how does that not happen every day?

And one without all the surfboards and nonsense in it . . . . .Congratulations on the hotness, Rob, although, please, next time can you wear a suit? I love you in a suit.

Thanks to Socialite Life, Just Jared, and Getty for the Photos!