These Wolves Are Wearing Me Out

I don't know about you, but I am totally exhausted by the presence of the Wolf Pack EVERYWHERE. The worst part is that I know they are just warming up for November, which is going to a publicity blitzkrieg the likes of which the Twidom has never seen.

Just waiting to invade a forest near you

I don't know if I'm up to it.

Taking it from the top, we have the core issue that I'm a Cullen girl at heart. I like vampires. You like vampires. It's good.

Enter the werewolves. Werewolves bad, okay? But werewolves hot. So hot. Oh my, shirtless wonders of the Wolf Pack, banned in Wales and other backwaters for your sweet fleshy goodness . . . wait. Bad! Wolf Pack bad. Bad! Vampires good.

Oh yes, vampires. Good . . . .

And yet, everywhere I look. . . . No vampire sexy goodness. Vampire sexy fail. All the sexy vampire stuff is already saved in my photobucket and fan fiction accounts.

In real life, vampire related interviews consist of Elizabeth Reaser claiming she doesn't get Esme and Peter Facinelli being all "AZ State Fair, yeah baby!" . . . in comparison, we've got Boo Boo Stewart doing wolf flips, Taylor Lautner romancing Taylor Swift, various other members of the Wolf Pack doing mall appearances and interviews. Everywhere. They're everywhere.

This symbol, everywhere I look.

Just when I think there might be an escape . . . no. Wolf Pack is at the mall, my friends. First, in reality:

And then in posters, cut outs, T-shirts, etc, etc, etc. It's making me crazy, tired, and scared.

They're all so young and made scary with computer shading. I don't like it. I want something cold, dead, and sparkling to cuddle up with to make me feel better.

How many more days till New Moon? I need to start drinking now . . . .

OMG, How did I miss Pattinson Panties?

Catching up on a few things, and damn. You look away from the blogosphere for one freakin' second on the weekend, and you miss this:

Read all about it at Twitarded, which is also where I blatantly borrowed the above image from after I got done mopping up my drink. Wild laughter + Pattinson panties = wet. You must click through to see what is printed on the INSIDE of those undies!

Castle: The Vampire Diares

In keeping with my I-love-everything-Vampire theme that usually kicks into high gear for the Halloween season AND my this-week-is-awesome PLUS the all-roads-lead-eventually-to-a-Twilight-tie, I bring you this week's episode of Castle, which is a vampire episode. Underworld references, Anita Blake references, Interview With A Vampire references, and loads of Bram Stoker references totally make it full of WIN. Oh, and there's werewolves, too.

Kellan Lutz Goes To The Dogs

Okay ladies and gents, when Twilight hottie Kellan Lutz says the following, what is he talking about?

"Our connection was so strong that it was like fate bringing us together. I knew she was the one."

(letting fantasy hour run for a while here . . . .)

Those of you who guessed that it was HIS DOG are completely correct. The full quote is:

"She looked me in the eyes, bowed and slowly and softly licked my open hand. As I pet this beautiful dog I realized how soft her multi-colored coat was, and felt her desperation for a real home. Our connection was so strong that it was like fate bringing us together. I knew she was the one."

For trivia hounds (yeah, I went there) here are few more Kellan Lutz dog-related facts:

• He found his dog at a shelter
• There are dozens of super cute photos of him with dogs all over the fandom, but this is his latest cover shoot
  
• His dog's name is Kola, and they've been together for three years
  

There's more article over at PopSugar, but that's the gist of it. Kellan's a dog man, and it's so damn cute I can't help but post about it. Who even knew Doggie Aficionado was a magazine?

Getting More Montepulciano In My Life

How excited am I for the week ahead? My legitimate work includes a Twilight connection.

One of the things I do is write hotel descriptions. My contract agency has been on an Italy kick for a while (google Amalfi and just dream, peeps) and this week my list includes the one and only Montepulciano, setting for Volterra for the Twilight Saga.

It's gonna be a good week over here. Feeling it in my bones . . . .

Werewolves Are The New Black?

I knew I created the tag of "Oddly, the WSJ" for a reason. The Wall Street Journal has now taken to commenting on the Twilight phenomenon. The most recent thing to draw attention are the new Wolf Pack focused spoilers, one of which was posted on the main WSJ site in their Speakeasy section. Evidently it got a lot of attention from their crowd, proving that even investment bankers and stock broker types have a hidden love affair with our beloved Twilight universe.

Watch for classic quotables, like "Werewolves are the new black" and "It's all about Taylor Lautner".

Finally! A Photographer Who Likes Nikki Reed

After posting that Nikki Reed gets all the unflattering shots as Rosalie Hale, somebody took pity on her puffy vampire look and did her a photo shoot where she actually looks more like the beauty she's supposed to be portraying all the time.

The photographer who loved her was Hellin Kay. Not sure what the photos will be going for, but at least they make her look good!

There's a full set of five over at Nikki Is Eternal, one of her fan sites. I may not be her biggest fan, but credit where credit is due. Oh, and I so want Hellin Kay to do photos for me!

Ashley Greene Improves Men's Health

I was clicking through the hordes of recent Twilight-related photo shoots and interviews, and this one really made me smile. Ashley Greene was featured in Men's Health magazine. Now, I'll be honest. I don't have much of an opinion about Men's Health. I kind of think of it as a light-read for the beefcake bunch. Typical covers look like this:

Beefcake Exhibit 1

Beefcake Exhibit 2


In the US they have shirts on the cover models. Hence, HELLO SINGAPORE!

For further viewing pleasure, Google Men's Health models. I was just looking for appropriate examples for the blog, and *poof* hours disappeared. Good stuff.

Anyway, so you Twilight and New Moon are the big time when they crack the muscle man magazines. Admittedly, you're getting Ashley Greene here, not Alice Cullen, and certainly not Rob. Still, it's a safe bet that you could bribe a significant other into seeing the movie using photos like this:

No need to mention that the wardrobe people dress her in fugly clothes the whole movie. Let the fantasy live on. It's a sure way to lure yourself into a date to the movie! ;-)

The Wolf Clip They've All Been Talking About

Finally got my hands on a non-grainy copy of the Wolf Pack update.

And we are at t-30 days to seeing the rest of the drama . . . . huzzah!

Taylor Lautner Wins Spike Scream Award, Uses It As A Horn

I will confess I did not watch the Spike Scream Awards Ceremony live. Those shows drive me nuts because they go on forever, and I knew I'd get the highlights online later in a fraction of the time.

Basically, Taylor Lautner cleaned up at the Spike Scream Awards, winning an award for Best Breakout Performance and getting to show off some cool Wolf Pack transformation footage (when I have more than screen caps and fuzzy videos of videos, I'll share). All very nice, very honorable, very good for the old reputation as a mature, up-and-coming actor.

Then, like a real 17 year old boy, he did this:

What are you trying to be, kid? A unicorn?

It reminded me why I never fully convert to Team Taylor . . . or Team Jacob. There's socially awkward, and then there's "Did you honestly just use an award as a horn? While still on national television? I'm going to not know you for a while."

Twilight Trading Cards? WTForks?

Okay, I get that movie merchandising is where the money is. Really, I get it. Print up some life-size posters of a shirtless Robert Pattinson or a Wolf Pack that's been freshly oiled, and you can hear the CHA-CHING echoing across the Twidom. Heck, even the fully clothed cast is a gold mine, as witnessed by "The Sexy Stars of Twilight" and "The Sexy Stars of New Moon" magazine sales.

But trading cards? What sort of buffoon stocks up on trading cards for Twilight? Since when did Pokemon return? Has Magic the Gathering made a comeback I'm not away of?

Even more mind-boggling . . . how are these things sold out already? Oh wait, that's the Twilight trading cards that are STILL sold out (Thanks, Inkworks). The New Moon trading cards are supposedly available on Amazon.

Yeah, right.

Those are all gone, too. You have to get them from resellers (not that there's anything wrong with that, but . . .) It just kind of weirds me out that they sold that hard and that fast.

I like magazines, posters . . . maybe an action figure or a greeting card or two. But Twilight and New Moon trading cards? It makes me feel . . . 12 years. Maybe more like 8 years old. There's just something about them.

Not that they aren't bad shots, mind you. They're just itty bitty. You can squint at all 72 of them scanned over at Thinking of Rob.

Someone Out There Is Not A Nikki Reed Fan

Well, here's the thing. I've suspected this for a while, but looking at the latest promotional still of Nikki Reed as Rosalie Hale in New Moon, I've come to the conclusion that someone out there is not a Nikki Reed fan and . . . it's the guy with the camera.

Seriously, she's not a hideously ugly individual in real life, even if she dates that douche Paris. So what is with these photos? Even though she is in all black, with the hair and the angle, the photographer still manages to make her look puffy and "big-boned". For the love, she's supposed to be a goddess of beauty, even if she is a bitch. This just makes her look like she's spent her entire vampire life eating Ben & Jerry's with a nasty case of the cramps.

A Vampire Cocktail For The Weekend

Yay, the end of another long week! This weekend, why not mix yourself a special Twilight cocktail . . . the Vampire.

To make a Vampire cocktail, you need a highball glass with ice and:

• 2 1/2 ounces of tomato juice
• 1 ounce of orange juice (the recipe wants "fresh-squeezed" but Tropicana works, too)
• 1 tbsp lime juice
• 1 shot of tequila
• 1 tsp honey
• 1 tbsp chopped onion (the smaller the better)
  
• 3 thin pieces of hot pepper (red chili or jalepeno)
• 1 dash of Worcestershire sauce

Put all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with some ice and shake it vigorously. Add salt to taste, and then strain it into your highball glass.

It's kind of like a Bloody Mary, and the Vampire cocktail is also designed to be used as a hangover cure. Fun for a Halloween drink (my neighbors have orange lights up already) or hey, drink your vampire cocktail just because it's Friday and you can.

Huzzah for the weekend!

Wet Taylor Lautner vs. Wet Xavier Samuel

Since wet, hot men are all the rage for Eclipse, I figured why not a little competition between two of the bigger contenders for the hearts of Team Edward? Thus, in a battle for sopping wet hotness to the brain death, it's wet Taylor Lautner vs. wet Xavier Samuel.

Contender 1: Taylor Lautner

In this corner, we have Taylor Lautner, who beefed up his physique to ridiculous levels for his role as the rejected werewolf Jacob Black. Frankly, if he keeps running around like this, the defection levels from Team Cullen are going to hit crisis levels. Points in his favor include:

• Playing that all-American sport, football
• Winning smile
• Total willingness to show it all off there in his semi-see-through white T-shirt

Points against him:

• Jailbait status until February 11, 2010.
• A chaperone who resembles Jabba the Hut (sorry Big Daddy, but, well . . . sorry!)

Contender 2: Xavier Samuel

In this corner, we have Xavier Samuel, who has managed to convert a so-so career in Australia into an expanded Twilight experience. His moderate levels of resemblance to Mr. Cullen have been noted before along with remarks about the blogosphere's chatter on his sex-god status, but he has more to offer the Twination. Points in his favor include:

• He's 25 (Xavier will be 26 December 10th) which makes him totally street legal in all 50 states
  
• Shown here playing that all-Australian sport, surfing, he apparently made a whole movie, Newcastle, clad mainly in a wet suit. Win!
  
• Hangs out chaperone-less and known to drink

Points against him:

• Sings badly. Apparently uses said singing voice to annoy Rob by singing Miley Cyrus and Katie Perry at him. WTF? (Ashley Greene totally brought this up in an interview, btw)
  
• Spends a lot of time hanging out with Bryce Dallas Howard and her husband/kid.
  
• Australian, virtually unknown in the US

As I look over these, I'm not seeing a clear winner emerge. I mean, the whole underage thing works against Taylor, but then if any man croons Miley Cyrus at me I will probably kick him regardless of his hotness level. What are your thoughts?

Twilight @ Comixed.com

Not everything I do online is Twilight focused, but it does seem like everything humor-focused leads back to Twilight.

Found this bit over at Comixed.com:

Snark and humor were my original entry points to the Twilight universe. . . can't help but share!

Xavier Samuel Runs From Bryce Dallas Howard

The Eclipse movie spoilers are trickling out, and apparently the script is getting beefier for some of the parts. Apparently Riley, the vampire played by Xavier Samuel, gets to be chased and killed by Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard, boo) as the opening scene of film. In the rain, because what every vampire movie needs more of is hot, wet men.

Stills from the opening sequence of Eclipse

Yeah, I'd run screaming from Bryce Dallas Howard, too, and you know why? Because she's not the real Victoria. But, hey, you work with what Summit makes you, right?

You can watch some footage of the supposed opening scene here at YouTube. Kind of longish, and you'll want to use your imagination, but he does die convincingly a few times. Bits of Eclipse dialogue spoilers as well.

Taylor Launter Is One Hot, Wet Showoff

A little something to ponder for the weekend . . .given that Taylor Lautner will be street legal by the time that Eclipse is all wrapped and Breaking Dawn gets underway . . .how much mayhem can a man who can do this wreck on Hollywood? And/or the hearts (pants) of women everywhere? I mean . . .well . . .DAMN.



Pretty much this photo is a Team Jacob 1, Team Edward in Tweed -0-

Six Reasons You Can't Live Without Vampires Part 2

As promised (and sorry I can't make it embed smaller, having some coding fun times with the blog).

More from PopSugar and their cool new vampire feature!



Yay for the shout out to Kate Beckinsdale, she's a fav of mine! Oh, and of course the election of the Twilight vamp boy Edward Cullen as "King of the Vampire Hotties"

Three Reasons You Can't Live Without Vampires

PopSugar is putting together a two-part series on why vampires are so hot right now, including the Twilight vampires.

Here's part one:



The parts that I like:

• The line "Because I live in the real world, where vampires burn in the sun."
• Clips from the Lost Boy. However, since I remember being freaked about that movie as a kid, I disagree vehemently with any assertions that Keifer Sutherland made vampires "hot" by playing in that movie.
• Reference to Twilight make up lines
• References to the many wines, drinks, and mixers with bloodsucking themes.

I'll watch for the other half and post it up when it comes out!

Finally, A Sweepstakes I Can Get Into

I got an email from a non-Twi friend who knows my little secret with the subject "This has your name AAALLLLLL over it" and lo and behold . . .something I'd missed in my days away from the Twidom last week.

Seems there's this neat little Amazon Sweepstakes that is giving away New Moon premiere tickets and other Twilight related prizes.

Well, damn. That does have my name all over it, doesn't it? Especially since all you need to do to enter is create wish lists of things you want (sadly, Cullen boys shirtless currently not available). But really, the work of five minutes to get the ability to daydream about being at the premier all afternoon? Totally worth it.

Something To Read: My Fan Fic

I've taken the plunge!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/1/Distilling_Down

The basic summary is here:

Character(s): Edward & Bella (and Carlisle, Rose, Emmett, Alice, etc)

Genre(s): Suspense/Drama
Rating: Rated: M
Summary: Seeking a vaccine for vampirism, Edward and Carlisle created another type of monster - someone they love who can't remember how to be anything but deadly. With love, science, and murder in the air, the ultimate outcome is anyone's guess. OOC/AU/Vamps

And here's a quick teaser to whet your interest:

When his lips met mine, the kiss was soft and tentative. I think he thought I would bolt, but I had no intention of leaving. I was trembling like a leaf in the wind, but that was just the excitement running through me. I kissed him back, my eyes open now, in unfamiliar territory but trusting my instincts. With no memories of him to guide me, they were all I had.

He gave a low moan and pulled me even closer, wrapping his arms around me and sinking his hands into my hair. He cuddled me close into the warm planes of his chest, and I pulled my hands from behind my back to hold him.

Hold him in place, that is. I didn’t want him to run away either.

He started running his hands down my back and kissing the top of my head. I could feel his heart beating through the hard muscles of his chest, and I planted one gentle kiss there, flicking my tongue softly over his pulse. He was talking into my hair between kisses, something about mistakes and tribes and never again. I didn’t understand any of that nonsense, so I did what I wanted to do. I pivoted him up against the tree and bit him right over his heart.

I do have teasers from the next installment (not posted yet) for any who read and review. Yes, I'm not too proud for bribery.

A Robert Pattinson Dress Up Game

Okay, see previous post about me needing distractions . . . and look what I found!

A game where you put clothes on and off a ripped Robert Pattinson? Why, yes, I'll hit that. I mean, play that. I will play with that. I mean . . . oh hell, you know what I mean. Grown woman, stressful day, near naked CGI quality images of Rob Pattinson.

Shown here with shirt so I could focus enough to finish the post.

Play a few rounds of the Robert Pattinson Makeover Game yourself. It's relaxing . . .promise!

A Twilight Halloween? Save Me Now.

In a vain attempt to block out the sounds of the construction crew re-siding my sister's house, I turned to Twilight. Okay, the wonderful Twilight-related blogs. I wanted a distraction. I needed a distraction.

What did I find? Pumpkin Stencils.

That's right, there are Twilight pumpkin stencils, so you can carve your very own piece of FIRST-HAND embarrassment and put it on your porch. All you need to do after that is install a bright neon sign on your house that says "Please mock me and vandalize my property" and you'll be good to go for real memorable Halloween.

The Twilight pumpkin stencils are hideous. As in, cringe-worthy to the nth degree. In no particular order of awfulness, I have:

Edward Cullen & his "angry" face

Jacob Black, still with really bad hair



Bella Swan, moronic expression intact



Our favorite lovebirds, labeled so even strangers will know

What really adds insult to injury is that these are rated at an intermediate difficulty level. Thus, someone wanting to embarrass themselves and their family, and possibly the whole neighborhood by extension, actually needs to spend hours on this baloney.

Now, admittedly, there are some things that could be done with a Twilight Halloween pumpkin that might . . . if you're stretching . . . justify carving one of these bad boys up. Like, for example, if you really want to irk a Team Jacob friend by smashing up his bright orange visage. Or if you want to get back at Bella Swan for being a twat by NOT carving her onto the pumpkin with Edward. But still, it's a lot of time and effort for not a lot of reward.

The official Twilight pumpkin stencils go for about $13.95. I don't think it's worth it. Not for something that looks ridiculous and is pretty much guaranteed to get you brutally harassed by everyone who sees them. Thoughts?

How Long Can You Starve A Twi-Addict?

Apparently, my limit is about 4 days.

As I wandered around my sister's house, trying to be a good sibling, it was hard not to up the volume on my plea, "Would someone please fix the Internet?" because clearly, my issue was not the important one.

Except, as time went on, it was harder and harder not to just be thinking . . ."Would someone please fix the effing Internet?" . . .especially when we moved into social hour.

"I'm starting a new diet," says the sister.

"Oh, really?" I say, thinking Would someone please fix the damn Internet?

"Your father has a meeting that day," says my mother.

"That's nice." I say, thinking What would really be nice would be if someone fixed the effing Internet already.

Eventually, everything was just blah, blah, blah while my mind was going Internet .. . Inter-net must . . .get . . THE INTERNET! Blog rolls . . .need blog rolls . . .. it's all going . . . dark. . . . . so dark . . .

See, Jake, Edward isn't the only one I can't see when there's no Internet.

Finally (saints be praised!) my brother-in-law hooked me up. They're letting me work from their house today. There are construction people hammering and drilling all around me as they replace the siding on said house, but compared to a life without Internet, drilling is sweet, sweet music to my ears.

Officially, I am catching up on work. Uh-huh. "Work" is definitely being caught up on here. Yay for New Moon Companion stills and scans (like concerned Jake, above) and yay for the ability to log on again. I'd make some crack about the web being my own personal brand of heroin, but we're above that, right? Right.

Happy Monday, all.