Twilight Funny For the Weekend + 2 More

Sheesh, was that a long week for anyone else or what? It certainly was for me. Damn you the week after a long holiday weekend, damn you.

To make it all better, I offer you some laughs for the weekend.

Here's a little Twilight humor, courtesy of Twilighters Anonymous. It's Carlisle's "Top 10 Pick Up Lines" and yes, they are every bit as bad as you'd imagine (snicker):

10. I’ve learned a lot over the centuries, but I’d give it all up for your smile.

9. You can show me anything, I am a doctor after all.

8. Have you ever wondered what started my scarf collection? Would you like to find out?

7. The name is Cullen. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but I like to be known as Dr. Love.

6. Do you want to play doctor?

5. These hands are skilled and trained to save lives. Would you like to find out what else they’re good at?

4. I’m a doctor, and yes I do take my lab coat home.

3. You can call me Dr. McSparkly.

2. If you need a love doctor, I have a medical degree.

1. [Holds Stethoscope] Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?

Then here are two pieces of non-Twilight humor, courtesy of the grapevine.

Who hasn't heard of this little incident? No, I'm not talking about the original performance by Kanye West at the VMAs (aka, Why Drinking Before Public Appearances Is Retarded). I'm talking about the President calling him a jackass, captured here:



And finally . . . .oh sweet Lord . . . .I present you with People Of Wal-Mart. For those of you who visit from around the world, Wal-Mart is a mega discount store where a VERY BROAD swathe of Americans shop for the cheapest goods money can buy. You really never know who you will see there, and here's the photographic evidence to prove it. I laughed so hard at some of these I think I hurt something. See if you can spot the Twilight connection . . .it's a couple of pages back.