Monday, September 28, 2009

Summit Can't Make Me Wear A Bra

Dear Summit,

Look, I'd like to have a word with your marketing department. Apparently, your licensing people don't know when to call it a day. Yes, Twifans are a pack of raving crazies and we do buy a lot of really inappropriate fan gear (I'd like present exhibit A, the sparklepeen, but I refuse to have one near enough to me to be able to present it).

Anyway, I'm sure you were all sitting around one afternoon when you got the brilliant idea that instead of our hearts and minds, you were going straight for our nearest and dearest.


But look here, you greedy bastards, Cullen Crest jewelry is one thing (*cough*tacky*cough*), and Cullen Crest lingerie is a whole other ball of wax.

Basically, I spent my entire junior high school career, every second of my high school career, and to be perfectly honest, some of my COLLEGE career growing my darlings. I like them. I treat them to good things. Frankly, if I'm going to splurge and buy them something REALLY NICE, I'm going to get Robert Pattinson himself, do you understand me? Not your little bra thing.

You can't make me wear it. I won't. I'll go without. In protest. So there, you merchandise whores.


The Braless One

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