The Universe Conspires To Keep Me From Reading Twilight

I decided to read Twilight again . . .you know, just for something to do.

Also I am giving in and writing a fan fiction story and I need some refreshers. (Got my first chapter back from Project Team Beta this morning and I am in effing heaven . . .although I have about 400 comma changes to make.)

But the universe is against me on this one ... we've had a death in the extended family and I will be winging it back to NE in T-minus 6 hours. Packing like a banshee on crack . . .but want to be reading Twilight instead!

Wishing and hoping I can make this true sometime!

Wolf Pack With Shirts = Unacceptable

RAWR!

Okay, whose brilliant idea was it to put out a brand new poster of the Wolf Pack WITH SHIRTS?

This is not acceptable.

No one wants to see these puppies with their shirts on. NO ONE. Plus, this whole set up makes them look like they just escaped from jail and have been living in your garden shed for weeks, only to take a vote and decide to break into your house and kill you for your groceries. After huffing all your cleaning products.

Bad marketing department, bad, bad.

Summit Can't Make Me Wear A Bra

Dear Summit,

Look, I'd like to have a word with your marketing department. Apparently, your licensing people don't know when to call it a day. Yes, Twifans are a pack of raving crazies and we do buy a lot of really inappropriate fan gear (I'd like present exhibit A, the sparklepeen, but I refuse to have one near enough to me to be able to present it).

Anyway, I'm sure you were all sitting around one afternoon when you got the brilliant idea that instead of our hearts and minds, you were going straight for our nearest and dearest.

But look here, you greedy bastards, Cullen Crest jewelry is one thing (*cough*tacky*cough*), and Cullen Crest lingerie is a whole other ball of wax.

Basically, I spent my entire junior high school career, every second of my high school career, and to be perfectly honest, some of my COLLEGE career growing my darlings. I like them. I treat them to good things. Frankly, if I'm going to splurge and buy them something REALLY NICE, I'm going to get Robert Pattinson himself, do you understand me? Not your little bra thing.

You can't make me wear it. I won't. I'll go without. In protest. So there, you merchandise whores.

Sincerely,

The Braless One

Once again, LettersToTwilight has found a picture that pretty much sums it up for me today:

Also, if you haven't read Twitarded's hysterical "Just The Tip" rant on spoilers, you must.

Jane, If You Want Her

Hmmm, despite my universal loathing of most of Twilight Halloween gear and my utter BOOO-HISSS toward the character of Jane (yes, I'm mature like that) this is actually a decent recreation of the look if that's what you want for Halloween.