I was in the grocery store today and just about died when I got to the checkout line. Not because a new Robert Pattinson photo spread was staring back at me, or because they had another Wolf Pack featurette for sale.
No, I was in shock because The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opened this week to record breaking ticket sales, and there wasn't a damn tabloid headline dedicated to a member of the cast anywhere to be seen.
Sandra Bullock is getting a divorce. Still.
The Bachelorette is dumped. Yawn.
Jennifer Aniston is having a baby. I DO NOT EVEN CARE.
I've gotten used to not being able to turn around without seeing a piece of Twilight related merchandise somewhere in the immediate vicinity when I'm out shopping. Admittedly, at times I thought it was getting a little out of hand but I never thought that on release week - RELEASE WEEK, YOU MORONS - the tabloids and glossies wouldn't be in a Twilight swoon, rolling in money as old fans and new fans alike snapped up special issues.
Also . . . it's the 4th of July and I was in line for a really long time. Some Twilight made-up gossip drama would have trumped the hell out of reading about that Bachelorette crap while I waited for the lady with 2,000 items in her cart of check out. Just saying.
It's like all the marketing people died or went on vacation. Or are clinically dumb.
FOR THE LOVE OF A SHIRTLESS WEREWOLF, DON'T YOU PEOPLE LIKE MONEY?