Kristen Stewart as Stephanie Meyer's Evil Twin

Is Kristen Stewart morphing into Stephanie Meyer's evil twin? Could be ... something about this publicity photo from the Breaking Dawn 2 premiere put me in a very Portrait of Dorian Gray mindset. The way their faces are aligned, the resemblance between the two stands out in an odd way.

Photo from The Superficial

Think about it ... the evil twin thing would explain so much. The irrational behavior, the cheating, the strange interviews - Kristen Stewart's real personality could just be getting overwhelmed by Stephanie Meyer's use of her as a younger, hotter version of herself. Life by proxy - I mean, it's as reasonable an explanation for Rupert Sanders as anything else I've read. Plus it explains how the two of them seem to be creepily looking more alike every time they're photographed together. 

Breaking Dawn Dominates Box Office

As pleased as I was to see Immortals doing well at the box office last weekend (good for you, Kellan Lutz!) I am even more pleased to see Breaking Dawn excelling this weekend.

Breaking Dawn was one of the most hyped and discussed Twilight movies, and for a change the drama wasn't all about the actor's off-screen lives.  Instead, let's face it, the content of this book was a major challenge to bring to the screen.  Breaking Dawn has an inherent vampire super-creepiness in it that the other books lacked (not that they weren't weird in their own ways) and conveying that on screen in a way that didn't make us all run screaming was pretty impressive.

Equally impressive?  Breaking Dawn making nearly $140 million world-wide so far.  Immortals is out as the top US Box Office take, and Breaking Dawn is firmly on top of the heap.

These ARE their excited faces

Now, who wants to predict which of the Twilight Saga movies will ultimately make the most money?  I'm voting one of the first three over this split-up nonsense ... a year for the next installment are you NUTS? ... but curious to hear your thoughts.

Breaking Dawn Fever Spreads To South America

The upcoming release of the first installment of Breaking Dawn has spread to my corner of South America.  It's not just the posters and the promotional merchandise.  The kids in my high school ESL classes are actively planning to get their latest Edward & Bella fix.

Whether they will get to do it in a theater is a different kind of story.  Ecuador is not known for its strict copyright laws and knock-off DVD stores are a major part of the film industry here, such as it is.  Cuenca, a city of approximately 500,000 people, boasts more than 150 illegal DVD shops.  They operate as regular stores, closing up only when the government decides to get serious about their image.  A few days later they reopen and life moves on.

As a result, most of the Ecuadorian Twilight fans will be taking in the movie on the small screen.  At least the first time.  Based on their ability to quote lines from the movies, Twilight films get watched over and over and over.  The first purchase may be a ripped off DVD of a US film premier of Breaking Dawn, but a later viewing will likely happen in theaters, boosting Twilight's global box office numbers.  In the end, a fan is a fan, and we all buy too much Twilight stuff to be respectable.

The life-size Edward's in my local film store, for example, had to be bought from somewhere.  Twilight banners, promoting New Moon, Eclipse and the original are everywhere.  The original Twilight is not aging so well, I'll confess.  The sleeker, upgraded vampires are a better bet.  And here in Ecuador, the countdown to getting to see them take the screen for Breaking Dawn is officially down to the final days!

Is Taylor Lautner's Abduction a Victim of Bad Acting or Bad Editing?

Taylor Lautner's Abduction opened up today officially, and the general reaction has not been good.  Critics are giving it a firm thumbs-down in both the US and international press.  The general public isn't loving it either - for a while the film even had a 0% rating at RottenTomatoes.com!

Quick, let's get out before it starts!

So what makes Abduction such a bad movie?  Twilight haters are quick to give it a thumbs down, but most professional critics are focusing on two key areas:  Taylor Lautner's acting skills and the production work of the film.

• From the New York Times review of Abduction:  “To give Mr. Lautner his due, he is a martial-arts dervish with perfectly sculptured abs. His acting, however, is another matter. I can’t recall another teenage star so opaque. If his physiognomy — recessed eyes that don’t seem to focus, a wide snub nose and Elvis-y lips — conjure Neanderthal manhood after a cosmetic makeover, his boyish monotone with its utter lack of inflection suggests that he is really an advanced robot simulating human speech without registering emotion or even comprehension.” Ouch!

• “Abduction features woefully appalling writing brought to life by genuinely random direction. The only consistency is that none of it works, and the result is a mess that will leave even the most ardent Twi-hater yearning for Stephenie Meyer’s skills. …one of the year’s worst films," says Australia's Sydney Morning Herald.  Just in case it's not clear they're haters - the whole review calls the film "worse than Twilight."

•  Critic Claudia Puig for the USA Today review of Abduction wrote: “Lautner . . . has the physicality to star in an action thriller. But his acting range is limited. His face rarely changes expression.”  (Okay, I might give her this one.  Then again, name a facially expressive Twilight actor?  Anyone?)

• And again from Australia:  "Don’t be fooled by the presence of esteemed actors like Bello, Isaacs, Sigourney Weaver (playing Nathan’s shrink) and Alfred Molina (a dodgy CIA boss). They’re only there to collect a pay check for reading out the absurd script — which could have been written by a 14-year-old, given its level of depth and sophistication," says Movieflix.

So which is the true culprit here?

Tell me what's really going on here!

Though I will agree that it takes more than pretty abs to carry a movie, I'm going to lay more blame on the film production and cinematography crew than Taylor Lautner.  No, Taylor Lautner is not the world's best actor - but that doesn't mean he's a bad actor.  And we've all seen great movies carried by actors who were terrible in other films.  Look at Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love ... and then anything else.  Think how awesome Jude Law is in Sherlock Holmes.  It's not just about the actor ... it's also about the direction, camera work, script, and editing.

Abduction just doesn't cut it in those areas.  Casting choices were fine - there's heavy weights in there who can do much, much better.  However, the writing for the movie's script is crap, in the sense that it's not a tight, driving story.  Some of the lines make you cringe.  Chemistry is not developed evenly between characters, and there's a choppiness to it all that goes beyond using artistry to create a feeling of chaos in the film.  This just wasn't very well done.

Despite all that, Abduction may still be a profitable film.  Given the strength of Lautner's Twilight fame, he'll likely have other chances.  Perhaps his next movie won't be thrown together so badly, and we'll all have a chance to see him in a film directed and edited by a team who can help him show off his best side.

New Fan Fic: Just Show Me The Money, Money

It's official - my new new fan fiction story for Twilight is live on FanFiction.

Although she’s a little confused about the how of it all, there’s no confusing the what – Bella’s been vamped. Her new “family” is a set of first-class drug dealers in the middle of a turf war with “The Pack”. Coming to terms with her new life status, adjusting to her new family life, and managing to find a happy ending … you’d have to be high to think it’s going to be easy!

Check it out now:  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7305226/1/

Kristen Stewart Reminds Me Of January Jones In W Magazine

Checking out Kristen Stewart's photo shoot for W Magazine, I couldn't help but be reminded of January Jones.  Blame it on seeing X Men First Class earlier this summer, but at first I didn't even think this was Kristen Steward at all.  I'm believing her in the Snow White gear better than in these shots, which just seem to make her look like someone else entirely.

The cover, looking wide-eyed and glam

With a red ring that I kind of want

With a very January Jones style mink

Not all of the Kristen Stewart go this far to alter her look, but this one really does it up.  I like the photos, but I just keep seeing January Jones

 

Anyone else seeing the resemblance?

Fun New Twilight Poster - Now With Unicorns!

This is going to be a short and simple post.  I saw this, I loved this, you need to see this gorgeous mash-up of My Little Pony and Twilight:

Many thanks for your genius, AMSLizrah

Shirtless Sunday: BooBoo Stewart

Way back in the day, I asked if all the members of the Wolf Pack really had what it took to be pack members.  Not a long history of acting ... but a killer physique.

Even as a young pup, BooBoo Stewart brought the abs out as needed.  But that was then, this is now.  Welcome to the 2011 edition of BooBoo Stewart's abs!



I must say I'm impressed at the way all the Wolf Pack boys keep themselves up between the different shoots.  Also looking forward to seeing more of BooBoo Stewart as Seth Clearwater in Breaking Dawn.

New Fan Fiction Adventure

Way back when, I started writing my first bit of Twilight fan fiction.  I haven't given up on that story (lax posting to the contrary) but I got hit with a new inspiration this weekend.

The new story is tentatively titled "Just Show Me The Money, Money" triggered by Tim Myers song, Money$$$.  So far we have a Bella who is piecing together what happens after you get eaten by vampires, and the crew of usual suspects.  Jacob's there, too, but his leg's broken at the moment and I really can't say what will happen to him next.  One thing I did learn from my Distilling Down adventures is to make sure I get a good ways into things before I launch the story so readers don't have to wait forever while I beta through and sort out plot problems.

Anyway ... coming soon ... Just Show Me The Money, Money!

Screw Captain America!

The latest rumors have Ashley Greene dating Chris Evans.  And by dating, I mean she talked to him at a club and maybe flirted a little.  It's called a fresh break up and alcohol, not "dating" Chris Evans.  Sure, Chris Evans may be getting press at the moment for being Captain America, but seriously, after a Jonas brother who wouldn't you talk to in order forget the all-too-recent past?

Not that Ashley Greene is looking terribly heartbroken.

She's got her hair long, a smile on, a necklace I totally want, and nary a Joe Jonas look-alike in sight.  Which is just way I like it, because while she was going out with Joe Jonas I almost had to break my don't be mean to Ashley Greene rule.  He's just too ... too ... uck, can't even describe it.  Just no.

I feel like Chris Evans is a little bit the same way.  I mean, he's a nice-ish guy, I guess, and by Hollywood standards he's pretty above board.  It's just that he's so boring.  Still, after all the Breaking Dawn filming madness and the Jonas brothers freaks that Ashley Greene has been dealing with lately, maybe she wants some boring?

Twilight Halloween Song: Monster Mash

Monster Mash has always been one of my favorite Halloween songs, and I had to laugh when I discovered there was a Twilight-themed remix of Monster Mash on YouTube.  The owners have disabled the embedding, but the Twilight Monster Mash video is full of hidden gems worth watching over and over.

Enjoy, and have a Happy Halloween, Twilight-themed or not!

Easing Back Into The Twilight Zone

I had one of those moments today, where I realized that what I was really missing was Twilight. So I got online to get caught up and realized that somewhere along the way since Eclipse hit theaters, I've lost months.

I had no idea Nikki Reed was in Nylon.  I think Xavier Samuel's girlfriend is kind of fugly (something with the smile?) and need to do some serious research to remember who all the members of the Denali clan are, much less who is playing them.  It's been a while since I read Breaking Dawn, and I just forget all those bit players, you know?

But I'm mad that I don't know them.  How messed up is that?  It's like a piece of me wants to drop everything and run to the nearest bookstore/library just to get the glossary section of the book to figure out who the heck Cameron is.  Somebody's human companion/mate, perhaps?

Yet I'm hesitant. I remember when I took the first plunge into the Twilight fandom. I lost weeks reading all the back posts and catching up with what had happened since the filming of the original movie.  I came in between Twilight and did the countdown to New Moon.  I was learning as I went, and I didn't know how much I didn't know.

Now I do.  I know how much I've been skipping, and I know how many posts and blogs I should be reading.  I've got the alerts in a folder that should be labeled as the "Guilt" file instead of the Twilight file, because when I look at it I feel guilty that I'm letting the fandom down.

But filming for Breaking Dawn starts soon, and I want to be back.  Let's see how long it takes me . . .

Shirtless Sunday: Kellan Lutz

How did I miss that this was happening?  Apparently PopSugar is hosting a kind of shirtless wonder contest, and it's all come down to Kellan Lutz. vs. Zac Efron. 

Both men have dominated their competition brackets all the way to the top, and I can't wait to see the results.  In the mean time, here are a few more shirtless photos of Kellan Lutz from my Photobucket collection. 

 

And from the Calvin Klein shoot - Damn!

This contest really was the perfect excuse for looking through these shirtless Kellan Lutz pictures.  What a great way to end to weekend ~ Yum!

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart In World's Grainiest Kiss

So the blogosphere is a-twitter that Bella and Edward . . . I mean, Rob and Kristen . . . have finally been caught kissing in public.  While not accepting an award.  Sadly, rather than being a full on "Yes we suck face deal with it Twilight fans" kind of screw you to the Robsten haters, these are the world's grainiest make-out photos.  Not that I'm necessarily more voyeuristic than the next girl . . it's just if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em is my general motto on celebrity romance with hot men.

Thanks to Celebuzz for the photo (obviously)

Maybe now they'll be able to be a little more public?  Who knows!

If I Was A Werewolf, I'd Shred My Boyfriend

I'll admit, I credit some of my current relationship's existence to the power of Twilight.  How, you ask, especially since Twilight loving makes so many guys run for the hills?  Well, because I was being pretty into the fandom and being a fan fic writer and just enjoying myself, I was radiating that kind of happy glow that seems to be a magnet for meeting people.

So, add in one boyfriend to my life mix.  Good times, right?

Well, mostly.  Right now it is safe to say that if I was a werewolf, I would have power-shredded his ass.  Probably about three times now.

Rawr!

 

It's a hundred little things, culminating with not being able to get a decent night's sleep for the last week.  This made last night's "Let's go out with my clients so I can get weeknight shitfaced" adventure a very crabby experience for sober me, who has to do real work today.  Only my insistence that I needed sleep last night versus turning things into an all-night adventure capped with sexcapades makes me the evil, vindictive bitch here.  Not the one in the other room playing metal and hard rock with room shaking volume and pouting.

And I'm trying to work.  Really.  I have not given up on the day and cried and wished I had my own personal vampire to whisk me away to the Isle Esme, or at least Alaska.  I haven't done that.  I haven't wondered if maybe it wasn't just easier to live alone with a massive secret Twilight obsession than have a warm, real boyfriend who is wonderful most of the time.  No, don't be silly.  I'm not longing for the days where I could get actual projects done and read as much fan fiction as I wanted. No, no, no - why would I do that?

*Cue loud guitars screeching*

Okay, fine.  I'm throwing a massive personal pity party starting NOW.  There's chocolate ice cream in the freezer and I'm having it for lunch.  It should be a helluva day and you're all invited to join.  The first person to show up with a margarita in a bag or a vampire wearing only a bow is my hero.

Twimpage Promotes Distilling Down!

How excited am I to have been pimped by Twimpage?  Very excited!  And also surprised because I didn't know it was happening and wasn't on my Twitter over the weekend.

Fortunately, the absolute lovelies over at Twimpage don't care that I'm not always on the ball and pimped my fiction on July 23rd.  You can see the pimpage for Distilling Down here.

Also, if you are looking for new Twilight fan fic to read, check out the rest of the Twimpage treasures at their site.

Wait, Jackson Rathbone, Is That You?

Just saw some promo photos of Jackson Rathbone in Tokyo promoting The Last Airbender and almost didn't recognize him!

What is this?

I am not a fan!  I think I much prefer it when Rathbone looks like something other than an over-gelled yuppie.  This outtake from Jackson Rathbone's Nylon photo shoot is more my style.

A Taylor-iffic Surprise in My Taxi Cab

I was flying today and had to make a transfer between FLL and my MIA hotel in rush hour.  Do not actually recommend this to anyone.

However, there was a little surprise tucked away for me in the seat pocket of my cab.  I almost squeed with glee when I discovered the July 2010 GQ featuring Taylor Lautner was there:

Oh, Hell Yes!

The interview was actually a very nice piece about Taylor, and I enjoyed reading about the reporter being frightened of the teenagers and crazed moms stalking Taylor Lautner everywhere he goes at award shows and public appearances.  It added a nice perspective to the whole thing, and it presented Lautner in a good light - awed and grateful for his fans, if a little overwhelmed by it all.

But you know what really got me through the traffic?  The photos!  This one was my favorite . . . quite a step up in the sexy department from the original pre-werewolf Taycub, don't you think?

The Abs . . . Sheesh!

Twilight Supermarket Tabloid Shocker!

I was in the grocery store today and just about died when I got to the checkout line.  Not because a new Robert Pattinson photo spread was staring back at me, or because they had another Wolf Pack featurette for sale.

No, I was in shock because The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opened this week to record breaking ticket sales, and there wasn't a damn tabloid headline dedicated to a member of the cast anywhere to be seen.

WTForks, people?

Sandra Bullock is getting a divorce.  Still.

The Bachelorette is dumped.  Yawn.

Jennifer Aniston is having a baby.  I DO NOT EVEN CARE.

I've gotten used to not being able to turn around without seeing a piece of Twilight related merchandise somewhere in the immediate vicinity when I'm out shopping.  Admittedly, at times I thought it was getting a little out of hand but I never thought that on release week - RELEASE WEEK, YOU MORONS - the tabloids and glossies wouldn't be in a Twilight swoon, rolling in money as old fans and new fans alike snapped up special issues.

Also . . . it's the 4th of July and I was in line for a really long time.  Some Twilight made-up gossip drama would have trumped the hell out of reading about that Bachelorette crap while I waited for the lady with 2,000 items in her cart of check out.  Just saying.

It's like all the marketing people died or went on vacation.  Or are clinically dumb.

FOR THE LOVE OF A SHIRTLESS WEREWOLF, DON'T YOU PEOPLE LIKE MONEY?

Even In Nebraska, Eclipse Sells Out

It's official.  While New Moon held the previous opening night box office take, Eclipse has taken the cake with a whalloping $30 million in ticket sales.

$10 per "smiling" face . . . not bad

Even in my native Nebraska, I'm pleased to report that the midnight show was completely sold out.  Not because I had tickets, no, no, no.  Thursday night late show for me . . . currently rewatching the first two movies and cringing at the Star Wars level smoothness of the dialogue.  However, the Twi-hards I discovered at the insurance office today (who knew? And they were right under my nose all along!!) informed me that I'm making the right choice by waiting.  Evidently the late late show of Eclipse was filled with tween crazies.  Hopefully by Thursday it will be cleared out and I'll be able to enjoy Eclipse to the max!