Rob Pattinson Makes Me Need A Vanity Fair Subscription

Seriously! I would subscribe to this, just for the December issue of Vanity Fair, which features photos of Rob Pattinson done by photographer Bruce Weber. The photos go with a feature profile by Evgenia Peretz that talks Twilight, Kristen Stewart, and fame . . . and being Robert Pattinson, of course.

I'd subscribe for a piece of the hotness

The photoshoot outtakes are in a beautiful slide show on the Vanity Fair website, but here are a few of my favorites for your viewing pleasure.

The untagged version of the cover shot, courtesy of ThinkingofRob:

Things I'm not kicking out of bed:

Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Books I need to check out:



Where was this when they were making Poughkeepsie banners?



Why yes, I would like to borrow that cigarette:

And finally, before I just post the whole damn Vanity Fair Photoshoot of Rob Pattinson:

Yes, I want to be that sweater:

Robert Pattinson, Superhero?

With Remember Me in post-production and Little Ashes out on video, it had seemed for a while there that all Rob had on his plate was the Twilight Sage. As in, Summit has him by the balls for the foreseeable future, or at the very least until they decide if they are making 4 or 5 of these movies. I mean, there's lots of directors in Hollywood these days, let's everybody have a go!

However, now it seems that Rob's got another potential job offer up his sleeve, playing the part of a superhero.

YoungBlood? I've no idea, but it sounds hot!

Okay, the real details:

• They're still finalizing the script, but they want to ask Rob. There are a couple of parts he could play, including a teenager who can make himself into stone. You know, with his skin feeling "like cool marble" I think it might be a good fit. (My apologies to SMeyer).

• It's based on Rob Liefeld's graphic novel series Youngblood. Which is like being based on a book, only with much better pictures. Yes, that's me being sarcastic. It's LATE, cut me a break.

• Youngblood is about a team of superheros, meaning this thing could have multiple hotties in addition to Rob (WIN!).

• Reliance Big Entertainment / Paramount have the production rights. (Suck it, Summit!)
  

• The director would be Brett Ratner, best known for making X-Men: Last Stand and producing Prison Break.
  

• Little known irrelevant but amusing trivia about Brett Ratner: He has also shot 7 Mariah Carey music videos, and did Madonna's Beautiful Stranger video.
  

All in all . . .I think this might be a fun movie for Rob to do. Lots of action, limited amount of angst. There is also a role for a Russian supermodel slut, so if he's really that lonely, they could put Kristen in it and I think she could pull it off.

All joking aside . . .no, all joking continues! It's that kind of post, people, because it is way past my bedtime and delirious amusement is a good thing. For further amusement, if you've never read the superhero by superhero breakdown of Edward Cullen vs. pretty much everyone, including Darth Vader, you must drop everything (including anything you might laughingly spill on the computer) and read it now.

I Wanna Be Edward Cullen

Thanks to Letters To Rob for this gem:

Rob Pattinson vs. Xavier Samuel

In a battle for hotness to the death, who would win? Although this was something I had personally never contemplated, not knowing Xavier Samuel from a rock in my shoe, apparently there are swirls in the blogosphere that he may be a contender for replacing Rob Pattinson as the King of Sex Incarnate.

WTForks, right?

I mean, in one corner we have legions . . .and legions . . . and legions of SCREAMING fan girls, followed by millions of quieter women who kind of know better but don't give a flying squirrel about how ridiculous they are with their little Robsession. I'm in their camp. And it's not so little (Yeah, that's what she said).

Oh, I may sneak over to Team Jacob now and again, and let's all just admit that the Wolf Pack abs are perfectly lickable, but honestly, it's ROB PATTINSON.

All Hail The Hotness!

And in the other corner, we have Xavier Samuel.

Thanks, JustJared.

Things that I knew about Xavier Samuel, prior to him getting cast as Riley in Eclipse:

• (crickets)
  

Things I learned about Xavier Samuel from the general Twiverse prior to writing this post:

• Australian
• Blonde
• Smokes
• Made the cut for the cast

Things I learned about Xavier Samuel on Wikipedia:

• He's 25, which makes him older than Rob and not jailbait (in most states) like Taylor.

We'll take that as a win. Some of the cast needs to be of age, or how will I ever get Jacob and the Wolf Pack drunk enough to . . . never mind. Focus, focus, focus.

• He's done some theater: Two Weeks With The Queen, Osama The Hero, and Mercury Fur.

Never heard of any of those. You? (crickets) Yeah, I kind of thought that.

• He's done two TV shows. McLeod's Daughters, a series, and Dream Life, a movie.
  

Still not ringing a bell.

• There are some movies in there too, 2:37, Angela's Decision, September, Newcastle, The Loved Ones, and Road Train.
  

Maybe they were big in Australia?

So, basically I'm a prejudiced, original cast loving kind of girl. Who is Xavier Samuel? In my book, until he starts doing Kellan Lutz push up tricks, starts a band a la Mr. Rathbone, or sprouts Wolf Pack worthy abs, this kid is a nobody.

And he's definitely not hotter than Rob!

Hello There, 2010 New Moon Calendar

The committee of people who make the world a better place have been throwing around scans of the 2010 New Moon Calendar. To which I can only say, thank you, thank you, thank you. Here are a pair of the scans:

Miss January, anyone?

I think he's rescuing her . . . or causing me heart failure.
One of the two, that's for sure.

Lovely, aren't they? Repeat after me: Jacob is jailbait, Jacob is jailbait, Jacob is jailbait. Okay, so technically so is Edward, but I think after 108 years of being jailbait they just forget about it.

How Twilight Merchandise Enters The Home

Okay, I will admit that this is totally inspired by Twitarded's post about the Full-Size Edward Cutout, which is pricelessness redefined.

But it got me thinking about the journal from normal to "That's Normal" when it comes to ownership of Twilight merchandise.

Specifically, it got me thinking about all of the ways that Twilight merchandise manages to make its way off the shelves and into the homes of formerly sane women who have now been converted into crazed TwiLovers.

I think it starts off pretty easy and then progresses. And for the record, I am going to deny, deny, deny any resemblance between this and my own Twilight goody hoardings:

1. You read the books.

2. You buy the books. Hey, you liked reading them, right? Never hurts to have a copy of a good book in the house.

3. You get a bookmark. It's for the books. How are you supposed to mark your page without a bookmark. I recommend an Edward one for Book 1, Jacob for Book 2, and . . .wait, I got distracted looking at a shirtless Jacob bookmark. Ah, screw it. Just get Wolf Pack for all of them. You've got a lot of favorite parts, and there's a lot of Wolf Pack to go around.

4. Right, tearing away from the books, you watch the movie.

5. You buy the movie. How are you supposed to enjoy the special features if you don't own the movie, right?

6. Download the soundtrack. Or buy it. Or both. Whatever. Rock out to "Eyes On Fire" like a total badass. Attempt to say the last names of the song writers . . .if you dare.

7. Get a movie poster. Because it's funny. It's just a joke. Ha-ha, look how much I'm into this silly movie. Ha, ha, ha . . . .ahem. Continue to maintain joke excuse despite the multiple posters. Deny Robsession and/or Team Jacob status.

8. Buy a magazine with a Twilight themed article. Because you need something to read on the train/in the car/later this afternoon.

9. Buy the "Sexy Stars Of Twilight" and/or the US Weekly with six pages of Robert Pattinson. Personally, I recommend the "and" over the "or" option. Again, deny Robsession and/or Team Jacob status. Maintain you are Team Switzerland, or Team Carlisle.

10. See some Twilight chocolate at the store. Squeal like a fan girl, then buy it. It's chocolate, who gives a flying .. . um, squirrel? . . .what's on the the wrapper. It's Robert Pattinson themed chocolate! And you're so . . .hungry. Yeah, that's why you need it. Several packs of it. The hunger, OME THE HUNGER.

11. Laugh at other people's photos of Mini Edward and Tonner Edward. Think about how fun it would be to have one of your own. Think of the possibilities. Examine your budget and buy the one that fits. Or both. I'm not judging, just jealous.

12. Inadvertently mention a Twilight related interest near a birthday. Receive a Twilight pillow, blanket, mousepad, messenger bag, etc . . . .if you are lucky and have been a good girl.

13. Wake up and realize that you have a Twilight lair, complete with books, magazines, stickers (Team Edward, Team Jacob), buttons (I Like Boys Who Sparkle!), pillows, Mini Edward AND Tonner Edward.

14. Pretend you don't know how all of that got in here. Laugh about it. Scream if anyone attempts to separate you from your merch. My precious!

15. Plan to attend a premier event or set stalk later this fall. Shop for Pattinson Pants, cause you can. They'll look so much better on you anyway, it won't seem weird at all.

16. Browse Etsy for Twilight shoes and other unique merch. There are 12,885 items listed, including necklaces (nice and snarky), bracelets, lotions . . . there are just so many creative folks out there, how can you not support them?

17. Um . . . . admit you have a problem? Oh wait . . .if you admit you have a problem, that might imply you want it fixed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH . . . .ahem.

18. Wonder what sweet merch will be coming out with New Moon. Wonder if 30 is too old for rub on Wolf Pack tattoos . . . .

Rob Pattinson Harry Potter Snark

Okay, so I was totally inspired by the Jimmy Fallon thing yesterday to hunt down more Cedric Diggory / Rob Pattinson vs. Twilight madness related funnies. This is helping me fuel two obsessions at once for the week! Yes, I am seeing Harry Potter again today. Yes, I am almost 30. Don't judge like that, cause I'm making time for Twilight too.

Or at least Twilight tie-ins. Here were some of the images I found that did the trick!

see more Lol Celebs

see more Lol Celebs

And my personal favorite:

Twilight in the Wall Street Journal

Right, so I'm pretty sure this one can get filed under "Shit I never thought I'd see".

The Wall Street Journal, better known for stuffy business articles, a conservative editorial page, and some of the most boring entertainment reviews I have ever read, has shocked me. They've actually shocked me. Bear in mind that at one point I worked in one of the top banks in the country and thought I'd read or heard every bit of nonsense the paper could put out as it reported on our company.

Little did I know . . . .just when I was actually browsing for non-Twilight related news, the WSJ was going to move (albeit briefly) from Peggy Noonan to Edward Cullen.

Check out the LOLs as the WSJ tries to get all serious about the Harry Potter vs. Twilight phenom.

I mean, not all that bad, but it's like discovering your grandma reads fanfic. It's slightly cool, but mostly wrong.

ROFLMAO: La Push Jacob Black Graphic

Okay, so I am not necessarily a full-blown Team Edward member, but admit it, this shit is AWESOME. Can NOT believe I am only today discovering the brilliance of photobucket! Many thanks to Blue_Blanket for being fantastic and totally making my afternoon.